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saundrabeach  
Booga's Sister Passed this on today, Simple Home Remedies
1/14/07, 4:09pm (Last Edited: 1/18/07, 8:59am)
graphic

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from
Rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

2. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you
Will be afraid to cough.

3. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting
Someone else to hold them while you chop away.

4. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. About lifting the toilet seat by simply
Using the sink.

5. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for
a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to
Use a timer.

6. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will
Forget about the toothache.

RULES OF LIFE
You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and
Should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

THINGS TO REMEMBER
* Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
* Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
* If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.

FINALLY
Be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might
Need them to empty your bedpan.





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TREAT OTHERS LIKE YOU WANT TO BE TREATED WELCOME EACH NEW DAY! Just When Your Children Are Fit To Live With, They Are Living With Someone Else!
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