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Message #677 of 743  *NEW*
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saundrabeach  
Embarrassing Medical Exams
2/6/07, 12:08pm
graphic
EMBARRASSING MEDICAL EXAMS
> >
> > 1. A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have
> >her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, Lifted
>
> >the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I
> >noticed that there were several cabs ---and I was in the wrong one.
> >
> > Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Francisco
> >
> >
> > 2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an
> >elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big
> >breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to be," replied the patient.
> >
> > Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA
> >
> >
> > 3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a Wife
>
> >that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more
> >than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the
> >family that he had died of a "massive internal fart."
> >
> > Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg
> >
> >
> > 4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his
> >cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble
> >with one of his medications. "Which one?" I asked. "The patch, the
> >Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running
> >out of places to put it!" I had him quickly undress and discovered what
> I hoped I wouldn't
> >see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the
> >instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new
> one.
> >
> > Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA
> >
> >
> > 5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked,
>
> >"How long have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete confusion
> >she answered..."Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was
> alive."
> >
> > Submitted by! Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR
> >
> >
> > 6. I was performing roun ds at the hospital one morning and
> >while checking up on a woman I asked, "So how's your breakfast this
> morning?"
> >"It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get
> >used to the taste" the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly
> >and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."
> >
> > Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI
> >
> >
> > 7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman
> >with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety
> >of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly
> >determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was
> >scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on
> >the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been
> >dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, "Keep off the
> >grass." Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note
> >on the patient's dressing, which said, "Sorry, had to mow the lawn."
> > Submitted by RN no name
> >
> > AND FINALLY!!!................
> >
> > 8 As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB, I was quite
> >embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams. To cover my
> >embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.
> >The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly
> >burst out laughing and further embarrassing me. I looked up from my
> >work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" She replied,
>
> >"No doctor, but the song you were whistling was, "I wish I was an Oscar
> Meyer Wiener".
> >
> > Dr. Wouldn't submit his name
>

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Message #678 of 743  *NEW*
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saundrabeach
zhakee  
Re: Embarrassing Medical Exams
2/7/07, 6:40pm
graphic
Oh my. #7 and 8 had me laughing. Thanks for the laugh!

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