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Message #686 of 743  *NEW*
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saundrabeach  
Jokes
2/17/07, 9:42pm
graphic

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat- shirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting
do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."

And they say blondes are dumb...
--------------------------------------
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest
woman in the world."
The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."

--------------------------------------
"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the
shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn
like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.

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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
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A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding
anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that
because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.

The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.

The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
Whoosh..immediately he turned ninety!!!
Gotta love that fairy!

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Dear Lord,

I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for
his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.

AMEN

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why do little boys whine?

A: They are practicing to be men.

--------------------------------------
Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.
--------------------------------------
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
--------------------------------------
Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

--------------------------------------

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"


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TREAT OTHERS LIKE YOU WANT TO BE TREATED WELCOME EACH NEW DAY! Just When Your Children Are Fit To Live With, They Are Living With Someone Else!
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Message #687 of 743  *NEW*
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saundrabeach
Larry Levy  
Re: Jokes
2/18/07, 10:50am (Last Edited: 2/18/07, 10:51am)
graphic
LOL!!!!!!!!! Great!

I especially like the first one....Sort of like those Carl's Jr ads where they say "Guys would starve without us."

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" I lift up mine eyes to the hills, whence cometh my help.", Psalm 121
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