This poem was written after a recent visit with my birth son.
My innocent and sweet baby boy,
I knew you could bring me so much joy.
But you deserved more than just love alone,
So my gift to you was a mom, a dad, and a stable home.
We talked and thought open adoption seemed to be the best,
Little did I know that my soul it would test.
I am told that it was a loving choice,
And I know your mom and dad look at you and rejoice.
We would have the chance to see each other,
And you the opportunity to know your brother.
This seemed to be the best thing for you
I just didnít know how hard it would be to follow through.
Each visit with you can be so tough
I never knew loving you would be so rough,
I hear you say ďMamaĒ and realize itís not meant for me
I silently shed tears you can not see.
I watch you playing and walking
I listen as you never stop talking!
We play and have so much fun
But I donít think you realize you are my son.
Oh no, itís time to say goodbye
I fight back the tears as I want to cry
The goodbyes are always the hardest part
I always dread them right from the start.
My heart hurts; I love and miss you so
And I wonder if you miss me every time I go.
Between our precious visits and time spent with each other
I hope you will always remember the love of your birthmother.