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Message #1127 of 1287  *NEW*
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Rob Reed  
Re: From another board -- Adoption situation
12/24/06, 2:30pm (Last Edited: 12/24/06, 2:38pm)
graphic
>Do you know of anyone who has a current home study, a copy of>which they have in their possession, can get their hands on>$22, 900 and wants to adopt a VERY healthy baby girl with AA,>Filipino and Hawaiian background in NV, THIS WEEKEND? Isn't this weird all the way around? A true emergency? No foster care available?And $22,900?!?!?!?!For what?Something smells VERY fishy here, doesn't it?

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"Treat the Earth not as if it was given to you by your parents, but as if it was lent to you by your children." - Kenyan Proverb

"The power of accurate observation is often called cynicism by those that do not have it." - George Bernard Shaw
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Message #1128 of 1287  *NEW*
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Rob Reed
BestLight
Re: From another board -- Adoption situation
12/25/06, 9:25am
Yeah. I'm not sure how "desperate" one is while asking for $23K. And I'm not sure exactly who is desperate.And I'm not sure how private adoptions work so I didn't want to make assumptions.Just wanted to put it out there...

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Message #1173 of 1287  *NEW*
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Guest1224 (IP: 198.166.228.9)
Re: From another board -- Adoption situation
3/14/07, 7:51am
$22,900?? Is this baby for sale? How very sad! I thought selling babies was illegal?? And by "this weekend"?? what the heck, what happens this weekend, and what happens after this weekend? NEVER MIND I DON'T THINK I CARE TO KNOW!!THIS IS HORRIFYING, YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED!!

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Message #1174 of 1287  *NEW*
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Guest1224 (IP: 198.166.228.9)
BestLight
Re: From another board -- Adoption situation
3/15/07, 7:41am
Responding to http://miassavinggrace.wordpress.com/2007/03/12/and
-then-i-wept/#comments
Hello, Mia. I found your site because Joy started a thread on Soul of Adoption guiding people to you. She spoke of you in glowing terms. Who knew you’d be so welcoming?Thanks for leaving a post on RRBBS so I can respond. No, I shouldn’t be ashamed, in fact. I had nothing to gain from that post – I was merely passing along information to Rob and his wife from a private board that they didn’t have access to (did you see the post title: From Another Board)?). And while the $$ part is what inflamed you, the reason I re-posted was that the baby was Filipina. Rob’s wife is also Filipina. So assuming the baby was in need of parents, I thought that Rob and his wife would be able to provide cultural heritage in a way that another couple might not. When Rob castigated me for posting (because of the $$ and the immediacy), I did not tell him why I posted, for fear that being race-aware would be mistaken for being racist.You seem to think I would get a cut or something.Please understand that all my adoption viewpoints are predicated on non-coerced adoptions, where an expectant mother freely makes the decision that adoption is the best option for her. It doesn’t seem like happens much in the universe of the boards, but seems to be more common IRL.I have spent more that a year now on various boards, trying to get a more well-rounded perspective than my a-parent view. I’ve had teachers who don’t even know that they are (for example, Jenna and Nicole as firstmothers, Anifish and Cheryl as adoptees). I have been wide open to learning (http://soulofadoption.com/forum/index.php?topic=148
61.0
) and teaching what I know (http://rrbbs.com/cgi-bin/bbs/onethread.pl?15-995).As for my tips for waiting adoptive parents…they actually work in favor of expectant parents considering adoption. My main counsel is for them to be themselves out loud, to be genuine. In fact on my own website and on (http://forums.adoption.com/general-adoptive-parent-
support/248867-trying-sell-yourself-something-you-n
ot-2.html
) I specifically say it’s not about being slick or playing to the reader.Assuming an adoption is going to take place (which is probably where your real beef lies), wouldn’t it be better if the choosing mother gets to see who potential adoptive parents really are, and not some bland or showy portrayal? And guess what? The “Baby’s Room” photo works in bringing together birth and adoptive parents. Not because it’s ostentatious (most of my clients are not wealthy), but because it symbolizes room in their hearts and lives for a child. What’s wrong with placing information about one’s agency in community place? Having a brochure in a doctor’s office or in a library vestibule is a far cry from “stopping young pregnant women at random on the street.” Thanks, mom2one for the suggestion, though. Forgive me if I don’t spread your idea around.Nina, are you suggesting that I am more despicable because the birthmothers who chose my husband and me had white children? Did you somehow get the idea that I turned down the chance to parent non-white children? Do you know enough about me to make that judgment?Maybe it makes you all feel good – just a little superior – to tear people down. Or maybe it’s just easier to lash out at all things adoption because of your private wounds and hurts. But does it really do anything to improve Adoption World? It’s so much easier to criticize than to create. Why don’t you take all your anger at your own situations and channel it to improve things? People wonder why there’s so much war energy around.

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Message #1175 of 1287  *NEW*
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saundrabeach  
Re: From another board -- Adoption situation
3/15/07, 1:34pm (Last Edited: 3/15/07, 1:54pm)
graphic
Interesting. I also wondered who the "guest" was shaming. I never thought it was you, Lori. hummm.But at the point that you are correct because you were able to read what Mia said further, I support your post wholeheartedly. Just wanted to tell you as this subject at times proves to be a no win or misinterpreted subject of actual intent. The written, especially anonymous posts lack body language, intonation and eye to eye view. Perhaps so much negativity is generated by simple misinterpretation. At least that is my hope.Oh, I just went to Mia's site. You were correct in assuming...I posted a comment after reading all of the unsavory comments her post generated. Negativity breeds negativity. If ,Mia had realized you were merely showing someone else's post, she may have had an entirely different approach. Still against the idea, but not seeing you as she does.

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TREAT OTHERS LIKE YOU WANT TO BE TREATED WELCOME EACH NEW DAY! Just When Your Children Are Fit To Live With, They Are Living With Someone Else!
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Message #1176 of 1287  *NEW*
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Guest1560 (IP: 68.83.68.27)
Re: From another board -- Adoption situation
3/15/07, 11:03am
I can understand why you felt the need to be defensive. We weren’t very nice. I suppose I should have stated my opposition to your actions and left it at that. As I said earlier, right or wrong sometimes we joke because it HURTS.I see you wish to not have your character nor your motives scrutinized and judged without knowing the first thing about you. Maybe you would be willing to offer the same?If you notice I did not attack your character as a human being nor your abilities as a mother. I DID question your decision to forward that post and I DID question your choice of career. I still do. I stand by that.I did not post here because I didn't want to intrude. We all need a space safe from scrutiny. That's why I took my objection elsewhere.I should have let you know somehow though. Peace.

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Message #1177 of 1287  *NEW*
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Guest1560 (IP: 68.83.68.27)
BestLight
Re: From another board -- Adoption situation
3/16/07, 10:23am
Thank you for coming here, Mia.
I see you wish to not have your character nor your motivesscrutinized and judged without knowing the first thing aboutyou. Maybe you would be willing to offer the same?

I am. At some point I will take a look around your site to learn more about you and your message. You have a wonderful reputation in the adoptee community, Rob has great respect for you, and I really appreciate the spirit in which you post here.

Peace.

We agree on that, and probably a whole bunch more.

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Message #1178 of 1287  *NEW*
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Larry Levy  
Re: From another board -- Adoption situation
3/22/07, 1:38pm
graphic
Bump!

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" I lift up mine eyes to the hills, whence cometh my help.", Psalm 121
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