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Message #1158 of 1287  *NEW*
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Rob Reed  
'He looks just like you!'
2/20/07, 12:07pm (Last Edited: 2/20/07, 12:07pm)
graphic
Marie and I have gotten a decent taste of the "uncomfortables" when we go out, with the looks and the questions... or the comments. All are well-intended, or just confused.

At California Pizza Kitchen last Friday night, we encountered two couples who looked strangely at Marie when we told them (after they asked) that AJ was seven weeks old. The look from both was "geesh, lady, how did you get back to pre-pregnancy shape so quickly?" Too bad that men don't have the pregnancy, so there would be no looks.

Regarding the first couple, the woman was holding a baby who, it turns out, was born on the exact same say as AJ. She, not surprisingly, still had some of her baby weight. Marie noticed the woman look surprised at her when Marie announced AJ had the same birthday, and immediately smiled and said: "Well, AJ is adopted!"

To the second couple, the comment "how old is he?" was made as we were leaving, so we walked on, and I laughed to myself, mumbling to Marie... "you know what they're saying now, right?"

Then, yesterday, we looked at some model homes that we passed when we were out galavanting with AJ. "Oh, he looks just like Mommy!" said the lady who worked for the builder when we walked in. I think I looked a bit uncomfortable, debating whether to correct her, but figuring that it wasn't important... but as I was thinking this out in my head, the lady felt obliged to follow: "Oh, I bet they say he looks like Daddy, too!" I guess she mistook my pondering for being hurt.

"Um, yah," I smiled, as we reached for the pricing paperwork and walked on.

My thoughts now are if this kind of thing makes US feel a bit uncomfortable, how is AJ gonna feel? Wow, he has one heck of a time ahead of him.

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"Treat the Earth not as if it was given to you by your parents, but as if it was lent to you by your children." - Kenyan Proverb

"The power of accurate observation is often called cynicism by those that do not have it." - George Bernard Shaw
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Message #1160 of 1287  *NEW*
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Rob Reed
BestLight
Re: 'He looks just like you!'
2/20/07, 12:56pm (Last Edited: 2/20/07, 12:58pm)
I LOVED those looks I got when I had a newborn but no baby fat (just the regular variety of fat).

Isn't this a fun, magical time?

"Well, AJ is adopted!"

As AJ begins to understand what this means, you may wish instead to say, "We adopted AJ." Just to make it something YOU DID, not something HE IS.

My 2 cents are probably not even worth that.

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Message #1162 of 1287  *NEW*
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Rob Reed
Guest147123 (IP: 68.122.21.107)
Re: 'He looks just like you!'
2/20/07, 11:27pm
When parents venture out with "new babies", people, (who often genuinely love babies, will "pay attention",I believe MOST people love babies., people sometimes behave horribly to their fellow man, but "how can one NOT love a baby."
Not that their is any comparison, but people generally "oooh and arhhhh" over puppies., babies!!!!! "HOW can one not do otherwise.

Newborns "on display, evoke attention".
Make no mistake Anthony is the child of both of you, he is a "love child in every sense of the word"., go along, be humble,be polite, it's "YOUR life story, NO ONE else., you both have much to be proud of.


Their inquisitiveness(remember we are talking of the "usual busybodies, (Nosey parkers, Brit, expression), is then directed at
Mum and Dad, to see WHO the baby looks like, life is often a soap opera, I do not watch soap operas, can not say I never have , but now do not.,(thats honesty).
L.A. can often seem like a soap opera.
Anthony is the child of you both, in my opinion he looks like a child who could have been conceived by you two, , he is a beautiful baby, which goes along with my latter opinion.
I am not alone in this opinion, as voiced by others.
I have always been a very lucky fellow, more so, from having Five incredibly wonderful children, and Seven incredibly wonderful Grandchildren

As time goes on, and "reality" sets in, i.e. you ARE MUM and DAD, a comfort level will evolve, and you will Know this is the way it is, and NOT have to apologise to any one, , NO one will be able to do it better., because when it comes to "mum and dad", you were so well equipped, hopefully, because YOUR mums and dads "paved the way".

Anthony is a very lucky baby, as are his parents.
I love the word "galavanting," my mum used it all the time, must have passed it on, also the fact that Anthony and I share the same birthdate, (365 to 1), a very good date to be born.

Robbies Dad,aka , Anthony's Granddad.

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Message #1163 of 1287  *NEW*
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Rob Reed  
Re: 'He looks just like you!'
2/21/07, 11:35am
graphic
>As AJ begins to understand what this means, you may wish
>instead to say, "We adopted AJ." Just to make it something
>YOU DID, not something HE IS.

Excellent point. I'm gonna slip, I imagine... but I should get into practice now. Thanks.

--------------------------------------------------------
"Treat the Earth not as if it was given to you by your parents, but as if it was lent to you by your children." - Kenyan Proverb

"The power of accurate observation is often called cynicism by those that do not have it." - George Bernard Shaw
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Message #1164 of 1287  *NEW*
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Rob Reed
BestLight
Re: 'He looks just like you!'
2/21/07, 1:25pm
Boy, I really came across like a Nosey Parker.

Sorry!

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Message #1165 of 1287  *NEW*
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Guest147462 (IP: 68.122.21.107)
Re: 'He looks just like you!'
2/21/07, 7:31pm
"nosey" does not apply to you, I was refering to the "usual inquisitive types, " one would run in to on a daily basis.,your writings are always inciteful and interesting, you sound like a wonderful lady.

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Message #1166 of 1287  *NEW*
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Marie Reed  
Re: 'He looks just like you!'
2/25/07, 11:48am
graphic
>I LOVED those looks I got when I had a newborn but no baby fat
>(just the regular variety of fat).
>
>Isn't this a fun, magical time?
>
>
"Well, AJ is adopted!"


>
>As AJ begins to understand what this means, you may wish
>instead to say, "We adopted AJ." Just to make it something
>YOU DID, not something HE IS.
>
>My 2 cents are probably not even worth that.

Thanks for the advice. Rob and I will need all the help we can get as to how to word things properly, so that AJ is not offended in the future.

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Message #1167 of 1287  *NEW*
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Marie Reed  
Re: 'He looks just like you!'
2/25/07, 11:53am
graphic
Thank you, "granddad". Rob and I consider ourselves very lucky as well. Hope to see you again soon! AJ's getting heavier everyday. I'm now using muscles (that are sore right now) I never thought I had.


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Message #1168 of 1287  *NEW*
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Rob Reed
Randy Edwards  
Re: 'He looks just like you!'
3/2/07, 6:09am
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I feel the same way about Jake. We used a donor, because I was not up for the job, due to a birth defect.

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Life is great..........Randy

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Message #1169 of 1287  *NEW*
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saundrabeach  
Re: 'He looks just like you!'
3/2/07, 1:00pm
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>I feel the same way about Jake. We used a donor, because I
>was not up for the job, due to a birth defect.


What a great story. Jake is one adorable child. Don't look for problems, just enjoy. Hey what about a current photo.

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TREAT OTHERS LIKE YOU WANT TO BE TREATED WELCOME EACH NEW DAY! Just When Your Children Are Fit To Live With, They Are Living With Someone Else!
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