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Message #1228 of 1287  *NEW*
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Rob Reed  
The One Where We Talk About Our Adoption Experience
7/13/07, 9:39am (Last Edited: 7/13/07, 9:40am)
graphic
Two days ago, we were asked to bail out our agency because the couple (and baby) they had prepared to speak at an introductory prospective adoptive parent meeting had cancelled.

So, on Wednesday after we thought about it, we agreed to participate. I resolved to say nothing negative about the agency. I did scratch my head a bit because I felt that surely they knew that we weren't that happy during the process (but, of course, we wouldn't change a thing because of the end result).

Well, we got there, and we talked... and I mentioned adoptblog, and when I did, I sensed that the rep for the agency (who happened to be the head of the agency) stiffened up a bit. I am not sure that she realized that the couple who adopted little A.J. was the same couple who did adoptblog.

As we were closing, she mentioned that there were a number of families contracted with the agency who called the agency asking us to shut the blog down. This was surprising, considering that we allowed anonymous comments and never heard such a thing.

I think the reality is that the agency wanted us to shut the blog down because it was making the agency look bad... and, in particular, this head of the agency wanted it down. I don't blame her, of course. I was definitely expressing my frustration with the agency (also reflective in our adoption profile on youtube)... and, the discussion between my mother and the natural mothers who read the blog was reaching the "downright ridiculous" level, which is where the tensions on the blog really began.

Marie's concern when we finally took down the blog was that potential mothers who could possibly select us as the family to raise their children might see the blog and move on. The reality, I think, is that we should have been worried about the AGENCY.

I wonder if the agency might have been less excited about working with us because they may have been bothered by something I posted... which might have made them (hey, they're human) less enthusiastic about working with us.

In the end, it doesn't matter anymore. Because it all worked out better than we could have imagined. But, I bet you wouldn't be surprised when I suggested to the prospective adoptive parents: "I wouldn't suggest blogging the experience."

You should have seen the smile on the agency rep's face.

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"Treat the Earth not as if it was given to you by your parents, but as if it was lent to you by your children." - Kenyan Proverb

"The power of accurate observation is often called cynicism by those that do not have it." - George Bernard Shaw
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Message #1229 of 1287  *NEW*
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Rob Reed
BestLight
Re: The One Where We Talk About Our Adoption Experience
7/13/07, 4:25pm
When you get to come back to the agency with your child, it feels like you've come full circle, doesn't it?

What a fun meeting I bet that was, and what an inspiration you were to your audience, I suppose.

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Message #1230 of 1287  *NEW*
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Marie Reed  
Re: The One Where We Talk About Our Adoption Experience
7/14/07, 9:41pm
graphic
It definitely made me feel good agreeing to do it, because I wanted to inspire and help prospective adoptive parents to not lose hope... to be patient.

AJ, on the other hand, is not used to being in a closed room full of people. He cried everytime he heard loud laughters or speaking. However, the orientation was around his bedtime. That could've heightened his sensitivity to noise. He was really good for the most part, though.

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Message #1231 of 1287  *NEW*
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Rob Reed  
Re: The One Where We Talk About Our Adoption Experience
7/15/07, 11:14am
graphic
>When you get to come back to the agency with your child, it
>feels like you've come full circle, doesn't it?
>
>What a fun meeting I bet that was, and what an inspiration you
>were to your audience, I suppose.

Most definitely. There was a surreal element to it. It is funny how time heals all wounds, yet at the same time, when you are waiting, the time seems like forever. I really meant it when I told the people that it only seems like yesterday when I sat in their seats.

It has been over 4 years since we sat in their seats...

Had you asked me seven months ago, I would've told you that it might as well have been some time in the 70s.

I do hope we were inspirational, but I have a tendency to talk about the hurdles (I guess because the hurdles are what makes me appreciate the tough times all the more).

--------------------------------------------------------
"Treat the Earth not as if it was given to you by your parents, but as if it was lent to you by your children." - Kenyan Proverb

"The power of accurate observation is often called cynicism by those that do not have it." - George Bernard Shaw
--------------------------------------------------------

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Message #1232 of 1287  *NEW*
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Marie Reed
Rob Reed  
Re: The One Where We Talk About Our Adoption Experience
7/15/07, 11:14am
graphic
>It definitely made me feel good agreeing to do it, because I
>wanted to inspire and help prospective adoptive parents to not
>lose hope... to be patient.
>
>AJ, on the other hand, is not used to being in a closed room
>full of people. He cried everytime he heard loud laughters or
>speaking. However, the orientation was around his bedtime.
>That could've heightened his sensitivity to noise. He was
>really good for the most part, though.

He looked cute in his Dodger outfit.

--------------------------------------------------------
"Treat the Earth not as if it was given to you by your parents, but as if it was lent to you by your children." - Kenyan Proverb

"The power of accurate observation is often called cynicism by those that do not have it." - George Bernard Shaw
--------------------------------------------------------

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