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Message #990 of 1287  *NEW* To From Subject Date All Rob Reed   Negative response 10/20/06, 8:29am (Last Edited: 10/20/06, 9:46am) We got our first negative response today on our YouTube video, but I can't say it was unexpected. As some of you might remember, I posted on anti-adoption sentiment that exists on the internet (primarily in the adoption newsgroups and on a number of blogs). See the thread at http://www.rrbbs.com/cgi-bin/bbs/thread.pl?15-330. Here is the back and forth of this particular comment: vittoriadesica: I don't think it's in good taste to advertise for a baby. Now, thinking this was just any person out there without prejudgments on adoption, I responded... baseballgeek: Unfortunately, it is the way the domestic system is designed. We have to design a profile for our agency that they show to birthparents who are mutually compatible. And, if you think about it, this makes for an easier decision (and a more controlled decision) for a birth parent. Otherwise, a birth parent would have to personally interview EVERY possible birth [sic... i should have said adoptive] parent. And, if you think about it, this doesn't change the "advertising" component as potential adoptive parents have to "sell" themselves to a birth parent. Believe me, after having been through one in person meeting before (that went very well, believe it or not), I would much rather a baby just magically appear. Which generated this response (and redflagged me that this person was of the anti-adoption opinion): vittoriadecia: I'm sorry for your troubles but please don't ask me for my baby. I looked up her YouTube profile, and she has favorited a recent YouTube video, encouraging birth parents to keep their babies, which was created (or uploaded) by a person who has an anti-adoption blog. Needless to say, I am not further responding, but it still amazes me that there are people in this world who, it seems, would rather see a child aborted or orphaned than taken care of. I absolutely see nothing wrong with a person being in favor of a mother keeping her child. In fact, I agree with it. It is the "at all costs" mentality added to it that bothers me. -------------------------------------------------------- "Treat the Earth not as if it was given to you by your parents, but as if it was lent to you by your children." - Kenyan Proverb "The power of accurate observation is often called cynicism by those that do not have it." - George Bernard Shaw -------------------------------------------------------- • Previous Topic • Next Topic • Reply to Msg #990 • Back to Topics This message has been added to these RRBBS++ Blogs: AdoptBlog.com 's Blog

Message #991 of 1287  *NEW* To From Subject Date AdoptBlog.com Thread AGWBT Negative response 10/20/06, 9:43am Yikes! Nowhere in that video did you say, "please, if you are pregnant and want to keep your baby, I beg of you, change you mind and give it to me!" The one thing I have to say though, is this: people who can not fathom giving up their own child have a very difficult time imagining that another person would do it willingly. Just like people who could never imagine jumping out of a plane, themselves, think anyone who does is insane. Now, I'll bet if push came to shove and their only option was a parachute, they would think twice, grab it and jump, I am thankful that my birthmother allowed me to have a life, and I am also thankful that she did not "create me" for someone else to raise on purpose, that would feel wierd. I find some comfort knowing it was a difficult decision for her to place me in another family. I also know I would feel extremely uncomfortable if I found out that my birthmother bore children for financial profit. There are enough "accidental" pregnancies in the world to fill every barren couple's home. Too bad alot of them don't make it to birth. • Previous Topic • Next Topic • Reply to Msg #991 • Back to Topics

Message #992 of 1287  *NEW* To From Subject Date Rob Reed saundrabeach   Re: Negative response 10/20/06, 11:43am My reply to this person, is simply..."Different strokes for different folks!" Evidently she has been fortunate to have the ability to have her own child or children and cannot know the pain or yearning of not being able to. I wonder WHY there are such unloving, nasty people out in the world. As in "Bambi"..Thumper's daddy said "If ya can't say somethin nice...don't say nothin at all!" I thought both the UTUBE and the TV clip were in very GOOD taste. Possibly opening a new door for not only you and Marie, but for other people longing to complete their family. I did not expect any negative, but did expect weirdos to pipe in... Don't let this set you back for a moment. -------------------------------------------------------- TREAT OTHERS LIKE YOU WANT TO BE TREATED WELCOME EACH NEW DAY! Just When Your Children Are Fit To Live With, They Are Living With Someone Else! -------------------------------------------------------- • Previous Topic • Next Topic • Reply to Msg #992 • Back to Topics This message has been added to these RRBBS++ Blogs: saundrabeach 's Blog

Message #993 of 1287  *NEW* To From Subject Date AGWBT Marie Reed Re: Negative response 10/20/06, 9:13pm (Last Edited: 10/21/06, 9:30am)>I also know I would feel extremely uncomfortable if I found >out that my birthmother bore children for financial profit. >There are enough "accidental" pregnancies in the world to fill >every barren couple's home. Too bad alot of them don't make it >to birth. Well said. Sure, it's best for a child to be with his/her birthparents, no question. But hearing about teenage mothers throwing their baby in trash cans is so heartbreaking. I mean, here we are ready to take in a baby to care for and love. Isn't adoption a better option? When I called the woman who saw our segment on KCAL, she told me that she wanted to have another baby in January to give to Rob and me. The first thought that went through my mind was, "Are you nuts, woman? Is it THAT easy for you to give up your child?" I tried to be as tactful as I could, and I was choosing my word very carefully so as not to offend her, because hearing her sincerity really got my heart. I didn't know how to react to her generosity. I kindly told her that this was an unsual case, because the birthmothers who are presented to us are either very close to giving birth, or they have already given birth. I referred her to our social worker. According to our social worker, the woman called and left a message. Our social worker left me a message today to tell me that she has called and left a message for that woman, and that she'll call again on Monday. We shall see. I'm not expecting this woman to keep her word. All I know is that I am so touched that she was so readily willing to conceive and give the child to us. In the heat of the moment? Perhaps. But I do feel it was well intended. • Previous Topic • Next Topic • Reply to Msg #993 • Back to Topics

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