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Weebles Wobblog has moved
Posted by: BestLight |
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Sheryl from Lutheran Family Services, conducts our second homestudy much like the first. It’s still nerve-wracking. At least the first time around, I didn’t worry about her noticing the Cheerios ground into the carpet. You’d think that for being repeat customers, adoption fees would be reduced significantly. After all, the agency knows us well and should be able to spend fewer resources being able to vouch for us. But as it happens, the fee is reduced only by $1000. I realize that much of what we pay goes to counseling people in unintended pregnancies. Some of them make adoption plans and some don’t – but all who come are helped. I don’t begrudge Lutheran this,... (more) | |
A sibling -- when to start the second ball rolling?
Posted by: BestLight |
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Fast-forward to HoneyT’s first birthday. Crystal, son Tyler, mom Cheryl and friend Tara join our family & friends celebration. HoneyT smooshes chocolate cake all over herself and it’s a delightful day. I tell my mother-in-law that we’re going to start the ball rolling for a second adoption. “Ohhhh,” she says with a bit of dread. “Are you sure you want to so soon? I mean, if the second adoption goes as quickly, you will REALLY have your hands full.” I reconsider our pending action. With adoption, family planning is so uncontrollable. We could end up with children 13 months apart, or 5+ years apart. Did we just get lucky with a short wait the first time? ... (more) | |
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There is one last hurdle. Six months after HoneyT’s birth, Lutheran has gotten us on a judge’s docket to finalize our adoption. Could these years of feeling powerless about becoming parents finally be coming to an end? By coincidence (or some nudging by Lutheran), our hearing is in front of a judge who has adopted two children through our agency. My whole family is in the courtroom for the happy moment (which literally takes about a moment), and afterwards the judge kindly comes down from the throne and allows us to take photos of him and our newly legal family. He also shares that he and his wife had been through a third adoption, which ended with the... (more) | |
Crystal's Moment of Truth
Posted by: BestLight |
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Amy, Crystal’s pregnancy counselor, has told us that her court hearing to relinquish her parental rights is at 2:00 pm. Amy says she’ll call as soon as it’s over. HoneyT has been with us for nearly a month, and we are hopelessly, madly, deeply in love with this beautiful baby girl. Fear wends its way up and down my spine as I imagine what would happen if Crystal changes her mind. I picture authorities knocking on the door, saying they’ve come for HoneyT. What would I do? Fight them? Acquiesce and crumble into a puddle on the floor? Die right here of a broken heart? The day is endless. I dance with HoneyT to John Denver’s Grandma’s... (more) | |
Back in the Parenting Classroom
Posted by: BestLight |
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Some of the post-placement observations our agency performs are in their offices with other new adoptive parents and their babies. We pack up HoneyT a few Saturday mornings through the summer to attend parenting classes. They are all very useful: baby sign language; how to get your baby to sleep through the night; infant massage. The classes serve three purposes. First, the content is helpful to new parents. Second, Lutheran is able to count this time as a monthly observation. Third, we meet other adoptive parents and share our stories. Through the years, we develop relationships with some of these people who we see annual summer picnics and holiday parties that Lutheran hosts. Our kids will grow up... (more) | |
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Lutheran Family Services has to keep an eye on us monthly for the next six months. Our first meeting is in our home. Sheryl visits soon after we bring HoneyT home to make sure we’re doing OK. We clean up the house thinking this time she really might bring a white glove. But this meeting is no different from any of my other friends visiting. Sheryl sits down and asks how we’re doing. We tell her we’re sleepy but happy. We report that her doctor visit showed everything is fine – weight gain as expected, all reflexes in place, and a clean bill of health. Sheryl mentions that Crystal’s pregnancy counselor has arranged a court date for Crystal to... (more) | |
First Outing and the Disappearing Me
Posted by: BestLight |
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At about two weeks, we take a family outing to Costco for diapers, wipes and formula in the gigantic sizes. Here’s where I my ego comes out. I LOVE the looks I get as we walk up and down the aisles. Me -– I’m tall and slender –- with a newborn. Some women look like they want to kill me. Score one for adoption. Over the next three months, I lose a few pounds. I’m just not hungry. It’s a strange thing, those endorphins. I feel like I did the first few months after I met Hubby –- in love and obsessed and so happy I’d sacrifice sleep, food, ANYTHING just to gaze into my... (more) | |
Where’s the Instruction Manual?
Posted by: BestLight |
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We bring HoneyT in our front door, greeted by streamers and the smells of a dinner cooking, thanks to Mom and Dad and my sister. We all eat dinner and just look at the newest addition to the family. After the dishes are done, all our guests leave. Hubby and I look at each other, alone in our home with our daughter for the first time: so now what do we do? We respond to her when she seems to need changing, feeding, cuddling, soothing, burping, etc. We observe her 1001 expressions. Hmmm. This isn’t so hard. I can do this. I change my tune hours later, at 3:30 am. HoneyT has her days and nights... (more) | |
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Crystal’s pregnancy counselor from Lutheran Family Services guides us through signing a bunch of papers that allow us to take home our daughter. Crystal will remain the legal parent until she goes to court to relinquish in a few weeks. It’s up to Lutheran to schedule this. The nurses at the hospital give Hubby and me quick parenting lessons. How to change a diaper, how to bathe, how to take care of the umbilical stump, what health concerns to watch for. We are still amazed that they’re going to let us take her home -– and this is not an adoption thing. This is a parenting thing -– what do we know about any of this?? The hospital... (more) | |
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